Narrative Poem

Kaitlin Presnell

English 2 – Block 2

Ms. McKoy

9 October 2013

I Just Want to Roar

I press the razor against my cold skin,

Think about how easily I could cut it,

Think about how hard it is to live,

I tell myself to STOP IT!

You can’t help who you are…..what you are

They just don’t understand

I look at the scars, cuts, bruises lining my arm,

Every one of them reminds me what I withstand

Every day, every hour, every minute, I fear the abuse

I hear the insults even when they are not being said

I hate the way the bullies are amused

They SCREAM and SHOUT and fill me with dread

They crack jokes about homosexuals

Thinking there is no harm done

And the feud between them and the gays never settles

Meaning neither of them has won

I come home thinking it will finally be over for the day

But instead, all I have is an unaccepting family

And all they ever say

Is why do I choose this? My eyes go all teary

This isn't something I chose

I can’t change the way God made me

But yet all I hear are bellows

Of people saying mean things, being a bully

And so I stand here with a razor to my skin

Thinking is it even worth it anymore

Is it worth it to live?

I’m so sick of it. I just want to ROAR

STOP! PLEASE! BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

I CAN’T TAKE IT! I’M TIRED OF THE WAIT!

WAITING FOR LIFE TO HAVE MEANING!

WAITING FOR PEOPLE TO HEAR ME SCREAMING!

I’m done. I can’t do it anymore. I need help yet no one hears.

All of my fears,

It’s becoming too much to handle

I’m starting to think help is unavailable

I press the razor HARDER to my skin

I make a cut that’s very thin

I feel RELIEVED of all the pressure I've built up inside

Everything I have to hide

Yet it’s not enough. It doesn't help anymore.

I can still feel everything deep down in my core

I contemplate suicide

Something that I have tried

I thought back to what started this all

Those words that started this brawl

I decide I’m done

I guess the bully won….